Beginnings and Endings, by Revs T and T

"Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow"

~ William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet

It is a kind of sweet sorrow, this parting that is soon to come. As most of you are aware, our last day as your transitional co-ministers is on Sunday, June 15th. We will be sharing the pulpit that day, and we understand there may be a reception afterwards.

We are excited about your future with Rev. Laura and proud of all the work we have done –individually and collectively – to arrive at this point of celebrating a successful search for a developmental minister. Well done, all of us! Having arrived, we now enter into a new phase of transition, which involves – as all transitions do – letting go. 

Over the past two years, we have explored UUSM’s history and heritage, congregational culture, patterns of shared ministry, and goals for the future. We have worked with you to build trust, identify pain points, support healing, solidify the staff team, and improve organizational systems. We have laughed with you and grieved with you. We have struggled and celebrated together. We have bid farewell to beloved members and welcomed new ones in – all the while striving, however imperfectly, to put love at the center. Now we enter the end of our transitional co-ministry. 

Endings can be difficult because they involve change and loss, but they don’t have to be traumatic. Approached with intentionality and care, endings can be deeply meaningful, a time to acknowledge mutual learnings and growth, gifts given and received, and mistakes made. We want this to be a good parting of ways, the kind that leaves thankfulness, not bitterness, in its wake. For that reason, if there are any unresolved issues or feelings about either of us, we want to invite you to have a conversation with us individually before June 15th (contact Rev. Terri here or Rev. Tovis here). Let us hear you. Learn from you. Let us agree to let things go, to attempt healing of anything that might get in the way of what lies ahead for you, so that nothing carries over from our ministerial relationship that might impact the next one. Let us part only on good terms. 

We are currently doing all we can to set Rev. Laura up for success. We are gathering information that we want to pass on, and working as a part of the Board of Trustees, Transition Team, and others, on plans to prepare for her arrival. We are excited for you! 

We want to clarify the boundaries after June 15th. We will not be doing any regularly scheduled activities after that date. Rev. Tovis will likely provide some emergency pastoral care coverage over the summer before Rev. Laura arrives, and both of us may provide some consulting hours with Laura during her first week or two, as needed. After that, we will observe a no contact/distancing period, during which time we cannot attend UUSM services or events or be an active presence in the UUSM community. This is to avoid exercising any influence over the congregation or the formation of your new relationship with Rev. Laura. Rev. Tovis will follow professional guidance and observe a two-year period of distancing. During this distancing period, we are not required to avoid you in public, nor are you required to avoid us; we just can’t talk about UUSM matters or provide any kind of pastoral care. We are, however, permitted to engage with Rev. Laura. Just as Revs. Tovis and Stefanie did in Winter 2023, and the two of us did in Fall 2023, we will be establishing a three-way covenant with Rev. Laura to clarify the contours of our collegial relationships. This is especially important as we will be in the same geographic area and likely even in some of the same collegial groups.  

What will we do next? Rev. Terri has a very full summer that may end in retirement (unless a very tempting project comes along). Rev. Tovis will be exploring community ministry and focusing on her interfaith justice work as Program Director of the Peninsula Solidarity Cohort. During this time when so much is uncertain in our country and world, we are grateful for callings that require us to put love, compassion, justice and spiritual growth at the heart of what we do.  

We are deeply grateful for the ways you have made space for us to minister among and alongside you during this time of transition. We have learned and grown in so many ways, and we have witnessed your learning and growth, too. Over the next couple of months, we look forward to reflecting with you on this shared growth – honoring our journey together, celebrating the progress, and acknowledging what remains yet undone. You are a dedicated, caring, creative, and resilient community. We have faith in you, and we will always love you!